Comfort zonesثورةُ لبنان: خروجٌ جماعي من الـ

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ثمة مقولة أن اليرقة عندما تحسُ أنها لم تعد تحتملُ حياتَها تقررُ الطيران، هذا  يشبهُ الخروجَ  من الـcomfort zone  أو ما يُعرَفُ بمنطقةِ  الراحةِ والميلِ للقيام بما هو سهلٌ، ومُريح، ومألوف، وكذلك عدمُ وجودِ نيةٍ للبدءِ بشيء جديد، يخْرجُنَا من حالةِ المخاوف، والقلق، وأي نوعٍ آخر من الأمورِ المُنْهِكَات. شعورٌ زائفٌ بالأمانِوتآلفُنا بالوجودِ داخلَ إطارِ منطقةِ الراحة.

وليلة تشرين قرر اللبنانيون كسرَ كل الحواجز. وعندما لم يعد بإمكانه العيشُ والرضوخُ قرر الطيرانَ والتحليقَ عالياً، حيث خرجَ كل إنسان من مخبئه ليُسمعَ صوته ويروي قصصه، لا هم ما هي مشاكله، وجد فيها منفذاَ ليعبِّر عن وجعِه ويكسرَ حاجزاً لطالما بناه أو أشعره به المسؤولون الحزبيون والطوائف، لا يهم كيف عبَّروا وماذا قالوا، وماذا قال  وماذا يلبس، وجدَ الأملَ الذي فقده، لم يعد كسولاَ ولم يعد يرضى باللَّامُبالاة تجاه ما يحصلُ معه والشعور بالذَّنْبِ. قرر وضعَ حلمه أمام عينيه راغباً في تحقيقه ووضع الآمال مطالباً بوطنٍ عادل وحقوق.  قرر المشاركة بالقرارات بالإحساسِ بالمسؤولية تجاه ما يحصل. بعد أن كانت الأعباءُ الاقتصادية والاجتماعية والسياسية ونظامُ قمعٍ تُثقلُ كاهله  بما لا يسمحُ له بالتحرك رغم المحاولاتِ السابقة في السنواتِ الأخيرة، بالإضافة إلى ما فتحت هذه الثورةُ من مساحةٍ للكلام عن المهاجرين والمهاجرات والأشخاص غير اللبنانيين لأنه لا يحق للأمهاتِ اللبنانيات إعطاء الجنسية لأزواجهن وأولادهن. وكسرت هذه الثورةُ الحصريةَ اللبنانيةَ في مكانٍ ما فاختبرنا وشاهدنا الخروج أيضاً من الـ comfort zone.

أما في الخاص، كنتُ قبل انطلاقِ الثورة أحس بيأسٍ وعدمِ الشعورِ بهدفٍ أو غايةٍ في الحياة بسببِ عدم وجود العمل الذي أطمحُ إليه. أنا شخصٌ انطوائي، منغلقة على نفسي ولا أعرفُ ترجمةَ أفكاري. ولكن منذ بداية الثورة وأنا أشاهد التلفزيون وأتابع عبر وسائل التواصل. أحسُ بمشاعر تحفزُّني للنزولِ إلى الساحات رغم التناقض مع أهلي في كثير من المستويات. فمشاعرُ الناس التي رأيتُها على التلفزيون أشعرتني أنني أشاركُهم الهموم. وبعدها تمت دعوتي وتحدثت على غروب واتساب مع أشخاصٍ لا أعرفهم وقمت بملاقاة أحد الأشخاص ونزلنا إلى الساحات وجلسنا بين رياض الصلح وساحة الشهداء، أكلنا وراقبت الناس. أول زيارةٍ كانت استكشافاً، وكانت تعليقاتُ أهلي قاسية، ولكني لم أرد، وكان التركيزُ على الجوانبِ السلبية دائماً من قبلهما. أحسستُ أن هذا التغييرَ المجتمعي لا يجب أن يمرَ من دوني ومن دون أن يكون لي دورٌ ولو كان بسيطا.

عدتُ وكررتُ المشاركة من تلقاء نفسي فجلتُ على الندوات مع جمعية كفى وسواها. شعرتُ بأن الأفكارَ التي تدور في رأسي والتي لا أتجرأ على قولهِا في مجتمعي تُقال في الشارع وأصبحت عامة، من العلمانيةِ إلى العدالةِ والمطالبة بحقي بالعيشِ في دولةٍ تعطيني حقوقي، بالإضافة إلى تواجد النساء في مقدمِ المجموعات.

ومن أكثرِ الأحداث التي أثرَّت بي  التعليقُ على الراهبة التي رفضت إغلاقَ المدرسة في صيدا، حين بدأ الجميع يروون ما حصل أيام طفولتهم مع رؤساء المدارس. ذكروني بالألم الذي سببته لي المدرسةُ وتواجدي في نظامٍ صارم لا يعرف الرحمة أفقدني ثقتي بنفسي على  المستوياتِ كافة وليس الأكاديمية فقط، وكان لا يزالُ يؤثر عليّ،  حتى في وظيفتي وعلاقاتي مع الناس، وهذا سببٌ من أسباب انغلاقي على نفسي. ولكن عندما بدأ كل شخص يكتبُ على مواقع التواصل الاجتماعي خبرتَه، أحسستُ أن هذا الوجع تبخرَ وتصالحتُ مع نفسي ورميتُ هذه الصخرة التي كانت على صدري.
 

ففي هذه الثورة برزت شخصيتي الحقيقيةُ التي لطالما كنت أخفيها عن الجميع، وجدت فيها متنفساً لكل ما كنت أعيشه من حيرة ويأس بسبب تعرضي للآلامِ والضغوط من قبل بيئتي القريبة، أي أهلي، بسبب إجباري على التكيف مع ما يفكران به وكيف يجبُ أن أتصرف بحياتي بحسب توجهها، ولكن قررتُ النزولَ والتعرفَ على الآخر وحضورَ المناقشات وتثقيف نفسي. بدأت أخرج نحو الآخر من دون خوف، ووجدتُ أناساً يتشاركون همومي. الثورة ولدتني شخصاً جديداً يريد أن يحقق أحلامه، وشعرتُ بتكامل مع من حولي حالمةً بوطنٍ ومجتمع جديدين. حتى في العمل أصبحتُ شخصاً قوياً يوصل أفكاره من دون خوفٍ من التراتبية، وعائلتي أيقنت أن لكل منّا رأيه رغم الاختلافِ الكبير على كل المستويات.

 

 

قررتُ، ومنذ هذه اللحظة ومع انطلاقِ الثورة، أن أثورَ على نفسي وعلى كل ما يؤلمني ويكبلني في عدم التقدم في الحياة واستثمار وقتي في تنميةِ ذاتي وكل ما يتيح لي تغييراً في سلوكي النفسي. والثورة إذا لم تكن في البدء ثورةً على الذات، لن تنجح، وبعدها تُترجمُ على الأرض مع الناس. وهذه الكتابة لهذا النص هي أول خروجٍ من منطقتي الآمنة، فقد أحببتُ أن أترجمَ كل ما أحسستُ به في  الثورة في هذه الكلمات.

 

 

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